Thurs 15th August

Hello there friends how's things? 

I'm sorry I haven't posted any thing for a while the illness I had has left me quite lethargic over the past few days- also there hasn't been anything happening here to write about except this one thing......

Now from time to time we will get visitors here, I'm not sure what for I'm guessing its mostly for business, other times friends coming to visit maybe, either way its not any of my business so I pay little attention to it. 

A couple of days ago a group of people turned up with a young boy in tow (which is not unusual ether) and all stayed for a few hours chatting away with words I know not. As usual I paid little attention. Later on, a while after they had left I noticed the boy was still here, sitting on the steps of the entrance to the hospice watching the children in the park opposite playing. I wondered (but had a suspicion) why he hadn't left with his family. I approached him and gestured to him that its ok to go play with the kids in the park. He flatly refused. 

There was great pain in his face with red eyes worn out from crying. His head was downcast, he didn't make eye contact, actually he didn't want any contact with anyone at all. This obviously troubled me so I went to find someone to ask them who this boy was & what was wrong. 

I was told the young lads name is Arnan, he is 12 years old & the answer to my question was very sad. His mother had died only two weeks ago of AIDS, his family were not willing (my guess is actually unable) to take care of him, as he is also infected. 

So here he was feeling alone with strangers in a place he didn't know, with his mother dead and abandoned by his remaining family. 

Obviously I wanted to help but how? I sat and watched him as he sat staring almost vacant with pain towards the children playing in the park. 

Maybe there's something in my room I could give to him but what & what good would it do? Maybe I could just go give him a hug? But he didn't want anyone near him. I sat and prayed, thought some more but soon it became clear that there was nothing I could do but sit and share a tiny fraction of his pain with him from a distance. 

It became clear that this was out of my control & ability to help & this is something he just had to go through by himself which really was frustrating as this was why I came here to help ease these children's pain. 

So, this was two days ago. Since then Arnan seems to have started to settle in and started to make friends. I have managed to make a connection with him & we seem to be on our way to becoming friends. He has stopped crying and started to make some friends among the boys and there's even been some smiles. 

But.

Obviously his pain is still there & he keeps lashing out at some of the kids, he's very quick with using his fists. Other than this he appears to be doing very well (though more than likely isn't) but it's still only been two days & I can only begin to imagine what is going on inside him. 

Well that's all I have to say on that. Please pray for Arnan's pain & his new life here. Stuart :) x